Tuesday was the day that I took a class that I needed to take to be able to work in Mental Health which is what I am doing now working as a Behavior Tech.
Tuesday morning I woke up and it was thundering out and the sky was dark and I could hear the warning sirens nearby. Immediately I got to thinking about how a particular type of siren would terrify me as a kid. When I would hear this siren as a kid it would sound like the siren was walking, like it was strolling down a road and then back away from me again. Later in my life I figured out this was because of the fact the the sirens turn on top of a building.
These days the standard type of siren is the SRN-2001 which is one tone. This type of siren did not scare me and this was not the one that I heard growing up. The one that I heard growing up is called a T1000 Thunderbolt which has two tones. More and more these days the Thunderbolt sirens are being replaced with the modern SRN-2001 alert systems. There is still a Thunderbolt on top of a building that is functional in the downtown Grand Rapids area.
To deal with these irrational fears (which are part of my sound sensitivity issues which come with autism) I started coming up with these stories that I would put on cassette tape about a white haired monster with a Thunderbolt siren on it's head that would come to get me during tornado warnings. I would always know that it was a monster if the siren started speaking my name. These monsters were horrible with huge claws and glowing orange eyes and a mouth. Initially they looked a hairy Pac Man with claws on it. Some of them could fly.
My way of dealing with these monsters in my story was to shoot them with a gun. Preferrably a shotgun. I was happy when I was able to kill them but still dreaded the tornado warnings because I knew that they would always come back looking for me again. One time in one of my stories they tried to enter my house. I could see the light from their face behind my door and hear the knock and I was scared. You could say they were a very polite monster because they knocked on the door.
Writing is one of my coping mechanisms to deal with fear. Sometimes I will write a story and turn my fears into a monster that I can then kill. I used to work by Ford International Airport in Grand Rapids and the house that I would use as my "home" had two floors and a basement and had a field behind it. There were all kinds of things that went on at this house in my stories. But like I said this is one of my coping strategies when it comes to dealing with anxiety and other things.
I do plan to continue to write and you might see some stories on here as well.
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