Today I got together with my stepmom and my dad. We enjoyed a lunch together and I was able to catch up with both of them over Chinese food. But for half the summer and fall I was plagued by these irrational fears that they were going to do bad things to me, that they were going to try and take my property away from me or that they were going to try and appoint themselves guardians.
I'm realizing that I have a choice though. I can choose to listen to those lies or I can choose to listen to what the Word of God says about arming myself against the lies of the enemy. I admit it's tough sometimes and sometimes fear paranoia and anxiety are crippling. But in the end I was able to sit down and discuss with my stepmom what was going on, that I was getting counseling for Post Trauma and for OCD. And you know what? She understood. The fears that had been plaguing me were false. My stepmom, my dad and I actually had a really good day.
In my condo on the walls are Psalm 91, Phillipians 4:8 (the verse about keeping your mind on what is good true honorable and lovely and not on the lies of the enemy) and on my front wall as you come into my condo is Isaiah 40:31 that those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. Interesting how they were right there in front of me the whole time that I was being plagued with fear panic and trauma.
I know that anxiety can be a tough taskmaster. But we have a God that is so much bigger than that. I was reading in John how Jesus promised that even when we face trials in the world in his name that He has overcome the world. He wants us to come to him and cast our burdens on Him because he cares for us. And he promises to give us peace.
Sometimes those reminders are tough when we are stuck in survival mode or when our mind is plagued by the What Ifs (Shel Silverstein the famous author and poet actually wrote a poem about what happens when the What Ifs start to attack us. I remember reading Shel Silverstein and reading that poem in one of his books as a kid and my mother and I used to talk about it all the time.
But what do we do when we are locked down in survival mode or plagued by irrational fears that are keeping us from friendships and relationships with other people? I have found that as long as I keep my Bible closed and don't spend time with God daily the less I am exposed to what his word says and what His promises are. That He will not abandon us, that he will not forsake us, that he loves us and cares about us, and that He wants us to remember that our identity is in Him and not in Fear.
And just talking to someone that you trust is so important, someone that you know is honest and truthful and is always going to tell you what you need to hear and be there for you no matter how hard it gets, these are the kind of people that you want to keep close. The people in my church family have really been good to me. I always find that I can talk to my pastor and to my brothers and sisters at my church. Community and Fellowship is the biggest way to kick the enemy in the teeth.
And God is not going to sit there and guilt trip you because you are facing anxiety and this is big lie. God wants to walk with you through it. Jesus reached out to Peter when he was struggling. Jesus appeared to a doubting Thomas that didn't believe the other disciples when they said they had seen the Lord. Be blessed. Know you are not alone ever. "You are alone" is one of the biggest lies anxiety throws at you but it's not true because there's always someone out there that's ready to listen that understands. God is. Even if at times he feels distant he is there. Be blessed!
Comments
Post a Comment